Chris​Hubbs​.com

In my last post I touched just briefly on the evangelical “modesty culture”, wherein the church burdens women by telling them that they are responsible, based on how they dress, for causing their Christian brothers to lust. Today I’d like to look at it in a little more detail and the short leap from there to a culture that minimizes and encourages covering-up of abuse, as allegedly existed in Sovereign Grace Ministries churches for many years.

Here’s the tweet and link that kicked off my thought process.

twitter.com/JasonBlai…

The post links in an audio excerpt from a sermon, which the blog author says is a “powerful wake up call for women. If we care about our brothers in Christ”, she says, “we will… think about what we are wearing.”

Here’s a transcript of the key portions of the audio:

Listen carefully, ladies. This is not an aberration. This is not an unusual testimony. This is the norm.

“Each and every day on campus is a battle, a battle against my sin, a battle against temptation, a battle against my depraved mind. Every morning I have to cry out for mercy, strength and a renewed conviction to flee youthful lusts. The Spirit is faithful to bring me the renewal I need to prepare me to do war against my sin. Yet the temptation still exists. I am thankful God has created me to be attracted to women. However, campus is a loaded minefield. There are girls everywhere and it is guaranteed that I will pass some attractive girls as I walk in between classes. I either have to be actively engaging my mind and my spirit to praying, quoting Scripture, listening to worship musicor simply looking at the sidewalk to make it through unscathed. Many days it takes all four to be safe.

“The thing that women do not seem to fully grasp is that the temptation towards lust does not stop for us as men. It is continual. It is aggressive. It does all it can to lead men down to death.

“They have a choice to help or deter its goal.”

Heavy stuff. The guy who gave this testimony apparently can’t walk past an attractive woman without lusting after her unless he is “actively” works to ignore or avoid her. And because of that, this pastor tells the women of his congregation that their choice of immodest clothing will help “lead men down to death”. (A booklet with practical modesty tips was reportedly handed out to all the women after the sermon.)

Some of the comments on the post are tragic. One wife reported that “we actually changed churches because my husband didn’t feel like he could open his eyes in the church building without seeing cleavage and lot of legs.”

Really?

Now, I’m a 30-something man who has to deal with all the common temptations. I’m also the father of three young daughters. So I’m about as invested in this particular topic as I possibly could be. And you know what? My first reaction isn’t “yeah, let’s make sure these girls get covered up”. My first reaction is that these men need to grow up and learn some self-control.

You know what, bro? If you can’t walk down the street, through the mall, or across campus without lusting over every cute girl you walk past, you need to get some help. Talk to a godly older man who can disciple you. The apostle Paul didn’t tell Timothy to avoid ministering to all the young women in order to protect himself from lust - instead he says to treat them as sisters, with absolute purity. (1 Tim 5:2) Heck, I’ve got a cute younger sister, and I don’t walk past her on the other side of the street with my head down. If you want to be a mature man and to be a useful servant in the church, you need to learn to deal with women as mothers and sisters. Avoidance is not the answer.

twitter.com/CulturalS…

Now, back to the video. About the time I was getting saddened by the blog comments, I took a look at where this sermon audio came from, and it turns out that it’s from a sermon preached by none other than C. J. Mahaney, one of the founders of Sovereign Grace Ministries and the senior pastor of the lead SGM church. C. J. has been accused of conspiring to cover up multiple claims of sexual abuse occurring within the church.

So here’s what strikes me: it’s not a long leap to go from “women carry great responsibility for causing men to lust” to “let’s not ruin some men’s lives by going to the police with abuse allegations”. Because, after all, if the women are at least somewhat at fault for the lust, then aren’t they somewhat at fault for the men choosing to abuse?

Now, I don’t think for an instant that Mahaney or any of the other leaders in his church would say, if asked, that abuse is the victim’s fault. But the culture that encourages placing responsibility on the women for the men’s lust will also subtly place responsibility on the women for the abuse. And that has to stop.

Brothers: if you need help, get help. The answer is not to avoid every woman other than your wife for the rest of your life. Take responsibility for your heart, mind, and actions. Love and cherish the women in the church as mothers and sisters [update: and as friends and equals (thanks @Knepherbird for the suggestion)], with all purity.

The evangelical blogosphere has been an interesting place lately. There have been voices talking about the abuse lawsuit against Sovereign Grace Ministries, the statements supporting CJM from T4G and TGC. Jamie the VWM and others have been addressing the evangelical church’s “purity culture” and focus on “modesty”, both of which have the effect of objectifying women while claiming to try to do the opposite. Zach Hoag has hosted his “smokin’ hot conversations” series, calling the evangelical church (especially the men) to greater responsibility. Bill Kinnon has written a good string of posts on the celebrity-driven culture of the evangelical church and the opportunities it provides for spiritual leadership abuse. And I think it’s also important to pull in Dan Brennan, whose book Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions calls the evangelical church to honor and encourage cross-gender friendships.

There’s a common thread that we can find through all of these topics: fear. In some areas it’s personal fear; in other areas the personal fear has become institutionalized into a culture of fear. But fear it is. And identifying and understanding fear is the key to defeating it.

Now when I start discussing these fears, some of you will object “but the boundaries are there for a reason! There are real sins that we could fall into that we should be afraid of!”. And to be fair, you have a point. But let’s recall the Pharisees of Jesus’ day. They didn’t write all their rules just to be mean - they were afraid of committing specific sins that God defined (e.g. “don’t work on the Sabbath”), and to make sure they stayed away from those sins, they put fences far outside of them. When Jesus came, he didn’t approve those laws; instead he demolished them, saying that God was more concerned with the heart.

We need some similar demolishing today.

CJ Mahaney, Sovereign Grace Ministries, T4G, and TGC

I’ve written previously about the multitude of abuse allegations currently surrounding SGM, including allegations that Mahaney and other leaders conspired to cover things up. I’ve written about the leaders of Together for the Gospel (T4G) and The Gospel Coalition (TGC) circling the wagons with posts of tenuous veracity and exasperating one-sidedness.

What are they afraid of?

They’re afraid of losing control. They believe, at some level, that God is better served if they enforce their flavor of doctrine and maintain a specific code of conduct (via church discipline and a strong emphasis on confession of sin) than if they relax and allow for Spirit-led variation. More damningly, they apparently believe at some level that God is better served by their church power structures staying intact than by working with civil authorities to bring justice to abusers.

How do we demolish this spirit of fear?

Go read what Bill Kinnon has written about the celebrity-driven church culture. Resist the appeal of this sort of fame. Look for and listen to pastors who are faithfully, humbly, and accountably shepherding small flocks. Trust that the Jesus will be found by those who wholeheartedly seek Him.

The Evangelical Purity Culture and the call for Modesty

There has been plenty of good stuff to read on the blogs lately addressing the evangelical focus on “purity” - the proliferation of ‘True Love Waits’ pledges, purity rings, the assertion that any premarital sex inavoidably makes one “damaged goods”. Here I’d recommend reading Alistair Roberts’ post The New Purity Ethic (an essay that will make this post seem short!) and, in a totally different flavor, Jamie Wright’s Why Wait?.

What are we afraid of?

This purity culture is based around a fear of shame, of uncleanness, of being perceived as being “damaged” in some way. It reflects a belief that the highest priority is an external sexual purity. Hence, a sort of virginity test, especially with regard to women. Men prey on that fear by driving the focus on modesty, which improperly tries to place responsibility for men’s sexual behavior (especially in their thought life) on women and how they dress. (This ironically ends up objectifying women’s bodies in just the way it claims to want to avoid!)

How do we demolish this spirit of fear?

If you’re a man: take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions. If you’re a woman: stop accepting the shame that irresponsible men will try to put on you. Glorify God with your body, which is His. For anyone dealing with hurt and shame: go watch Matt Chandler’s Jesus Wants the Rose.

Fear of Cross-Gender Friendships

How many times have you heard it? Men and women can’t be friends without sex becoming an issue, right? And with the church’s purity culture (see previous point), men are taught that it’s “safer” (and hence better) to avoid women altogether, if necessary, in order to avoid any sort of attraction. If you’re married, any sort of friendship with a person of the opposite gender is popularly labeled “emotional infidelity” in a disastrous attempt to draw a parallel with Jesus’ equating a lustful heart with adultery in Matthew 5.

What are we afraid of?

We’re afraid of violating the evangelical cultural attitude that cross-gender friendships are just step one in an inevitable path to fornication or adultery, and the seemingly inevitable gossip and shame that such a relationship would attract.

How do we demolish this spirit of fear?

Here I have to recommend you start with Dan J. Brennan’s Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions. Dan has both written and set a personal example for what beautiful, God-honoring cross-gender friendships can look like. I’ll be honest here - I’m uneasy at times with Dan’s position. But piercing my discomfort is a ray of truth that I can’t deny, so I will keep wrestling with it and looking for opportunities for real friendships with people of both genders.

Conclusions

As I try to reach an end to this post, in addition to fear, I see the word shame has showed up over and over again. Shame is a powerful motivator, one that will restrain behavior in ways alternately appropriate and horrifying. If somehow you find yourself reading my blog and are not yet familiar with Dr. Richard Beck’s blog Experimental Theology, go start reading Beck and thank me later. His post Elizabeth Smart and the Psychology of the Christian Purity Culture is an excellent place to start.

God has not given us a spirit of fear…

So says Paul in 2 Timothy 1:7. What has He given us instead? A spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind. So, friends: demolish the fear. The Spirit provides power to change, love to show God in all situations, and a sound mind to wrestle with these things.

With every one of these topics there is a legitimate “yes, but” conversation to be had. But in each of these cases the “yes, but” has been institutionalized to the point that it has instead become a “no”. It’s my hope that we start demolishing the “no” so we can have room for the “yes, but” conversations.

Finally

The antidote for these fearful attitudes and activities can also be found in the words of the prophet Micah. What does God require of us? Act justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly. And those words spoken over and over by God and His messengers to His people:

Do not be afraid.

Boz Tchividjian (grandson of Billy Graham, law professor at Liberty University, and former state prosecutor in Florida) weighs in on the SGM abuse allegations and this week’s troubling statements on that topic from The Gospel Coalition and Together for the Gospel.

The allegations, Tchividjian says, are horrifying, and based on his experience carry the hallmarks of truth and seem highly credible. So, he went searching the internet to see if Christian leaders were saying anything.

I searched online hoping to find statements by Christian “leaders” speaking out about this case or at the very least expressing grave concerns regarding the very disturbing facts alleged in the lawsuit. I was never looking for, or wanting, anyone to throw CJ Mahaney under the proverbial bus. I was simply hoping to hear statements that expressed horrors about child sexual abuse and with institutions that are not transparent about such offenses. Initially, all I found was silence from these leaders.

As some of us have been noting for several weeks, the silence has been deafening. So, what did he actually find?

What I did find was a lot of statements by Christians claiming that all of these individuals were innocent until “proven guilty by a jury”. Sadly, that is not the only time I have heard such a response from the Christian community when allegations of child sexual victimization are brought forward. What is ironic, or better yet, down right disturbing is that these same individuals don’t approach any other sinful crime in such a distorted manner…

I have personally gotten similar reactions when the topic has come up on Twitter, and I’ve seen many others get that reaction as well. Few “leaders” are saying much about the horror of the crime; what they’re saying is “nobody’s proven anything yet”.

He then makes four observations about the TGC and T4G statements:

1. Neither statement makes mention that the heart of this lawsuit is about a systematic church effort to discourage and eventually prevent the families of children who were allegedly (and repeatedly) sexually victimized by church officials from speaking out and reporting to law enforcement. A statement that fails to mention that this lawsuit is less about the abuse and more about an institution that took steps to protect itself and its reputation over the victimized souls and bodies of little ones. Omitting such fundamental facts from these statements speaks volumes about the inability of the authors to grasp the eternal significance about which they write.
2. Neither statement mentions that CJ Mahaney was actually the Senior Pastor at one of these churches where all of this horrific abuse allegedly occurred AND where these families were discouraged from bringing this matter to the God ordained civil authorities? Including this would simply state a known fact without implicating Mr. Mahaney in any wrongdoing. Omitting such a fundamentally important fact from this statement is extremely disturbing to me and very disheartening to so many others.
3. The statement by T4G fails to mention that this lawsuit was dismissed for one reason and one reason only…expiration of the statute of limitation. Isn’t it tragic that the reason why this suit was dismissed – taking too long to file – was the very objective of these church leaders allegedly had when they discouraged these individuals and families from stepping forward.
4. The statement by the members of the Gospel Coalition says the following as it relates to the statute of limitations and the dismissal of the case: So the entire legal strategy was dependent on a conspiracy theory that was more hearsay than anything like reasonable demonstration of culpability. As to the specific matter of C. J. participating in some massive cover-up, the legal evidence was so paltry (more like non-existent) that the judge did not think a trial was even warranted. Does this sound like a statement that even appears to make an effort to be objective?

The whole piece is worth a read. I hope and pray that more Christian leaders will make their voices heard.