Sunset

There’s something about sunsets that make me nostalgic. I’m not sure what it is about them, but give me the chance to look to the horizon as the last light of the day streaks across the landscape, and I’m entranced.

One specific sunset comes to mind… Open one of the photo albums at my parents’ house and you will find some pictures that date from the summer of 1990. It was a tumultuous year for us. Dad had to head to Colorado to work for two weeks, which was an eternity for him to be gone. Later on that summer his job situation would cause us to move from Nebraska to Texas. I was 13, had just finished seventh grade.

Several times during that two weeks that Dad was in Colorado Mom would take us out to the state park outside of town. As I see it now, she was probably just trying to keep her sanity after dealing with five kids in the house all day. But we’d go to the lake in the evening, fish, swim, and just hang out until the sun went down and it was time to go home and to bed.

One of those nights Mom brought the camera along. I don’t remember the night exactly, but the pictures she took capture the sunset-streaked moments of me and my siblings on the beach, playing in the sand and the water. There is one particularly memorable photo of my brother Aaron, the little awnry scamp, with a bucket of water cocked and ready to fling right at the camera. (The actual existence of the photo probably indicates he didn’t actually fling it in that direction at that moment.) Every time I look at those photos, the emotions kick in. Something about the sunset signifying an end, the end of my childhood years, of that season of my life.

I’m not the first person to notice that seasons change. Read Ecclesiastes sometime. There is a time for everything. Sunsets may have tinges of sadness to them - but without a sunset, there’s no chance for the sun to rise again. I don’t know when my life’s next “sunset” will come, but those pictures remind me that even as seasons change, we have hope for a new day coming.

Running

I’m going to make a real effort to do a bunch of running this week. I’ve been too much of a slacker; I need to crank it up. I ran 5K this morning, it was nice and dark and cool. I made it *almost* 2 miles before I had to walk… I was rather disgusted with myself then that I did walk for 30 seconds or so.

Mile 1: 8:18
Mile 2: 9:47 (total: 18:05)
Mile 3: 10:43 (total 28:48)
End: 31:10

The Solon 5K is less than three weeks away…

Sonic is coming!

Back in Texas, Sonic was a favorite fast food place of ours. Who can top the Route 44 Cherry Limeade? When we moved to Iowa, we had to kick the habit; there’s only one Sonic in Iowa, and it’s two hours away in Des Moines.

But then we found out a couple of months ago that there are plans to build several Sonics in our area.

Then even better, we found out this morning that they’re building the first one, to open around December 1, only four blocks from our house.

I sense some cherry limeades in my future. :-)

Odds and Ends August 2006

Odd: 13, the number of runs we had last night in our softball game. Also the number of runs our opponents had. After 7 innings it was just too dark to continue to play (8:30 pm or so), so we called it a draw. It was a beautiful night, and a fun game.

End: The end of the run yesterday was about 2 miles from where I started it. Enough, at least, to get my blood pumping. I did the first mile without walking at all. Woohoo!

Odd: 15, the day of the month today. Which means that it’s my brother Ryan’s birthday today!

End: This is the end of the post.

More running

It hasn’t been a real productive week for me as far as running goes; three mornings this week we we had rain come through between 5 and 7 am, which is my usual running time. I did get 2.5 miles in on Tuesday, but that was it.

So today, after cleaning out the gutters and mowing the lawn, it was time to go run again. The Solon 5K is only a month away… My times for this run:

Mile 1: 8:02
Mile 2: 18:50
Mile 3: 29:57
End : 32:43

I came in a couple of minutes quicker than last week’s run; my first mile was actually a couple of minutes slower this week, but I had a more consistent time for miles 2 and 3 this week.

Only a month to go before the big race. Hopefully I can find time to run more than once a week before then. :-)

It's time for a break...

I was reading back through some of my old blog posts this morning, tagging them appropriately, (100 down, 300 still to go…) when I found this post that I’d written back in April about burning out and refreshing. In that post I talk about getting burned out with worship team, and how nice it was to get at least one week a month off.

That was in April. That week that I had off in April was the last Sunday that I’ve had off since then. Basically, for 4 months. My usual substitute leaders and musicians have been gone on vacations and with family issues and illnesses, and the end result is that when you’re the leader, you’re stuck with it if nobody else is available. And I feel like I’m starting to fray around the edges.

Now, I know that there are people from my congregation who will read this. Let me assure you all, I love leading the music. But there is a point at which some things have to come into balance. I have a full-time job outside the church that will entail more travel over the upcoming months and the potential for overtime hours. I have a wife and two young daughters at home who need to have me around. I have (or will soon have) an elder/deacon list of folks who I am responsible for as their elder. Then there’s the whole realm of responsibilities to myself, like taking the time to exercise regularly to stay healthy, and taking enough time in recreation (and think of it with a hyphen: “re-creation”) to stay sane. When the commitments of worship team are added in, too, it’s a lot.

So basically, I’m back to the “something’s gotta give” spot that I was in back at Christmas. I should apologize to my wife right now. She has noted in the past how I manage to get things better for a while, but then everything creeps back in and I’m busier than before. I’m there again. It’s creeped back in. And now I have more work stuff on top of it. I’m sorry, Becky, I’ve let it happen again.

I know what my pastor’s reaction will be to this when I talk to him: he’ll say that I should make the effort to get other leaders lined up so I don’t have to do it all the time. And he’ll be right, of course. What I need his help with is in urging others to be available to lead to give me time off. There are at least half a dozen men at church fully capable of filling the pulpit when Richard is gone. Lord, where are the musicians?

I have at least a little enforced vacation coming up - the weekend after labor day we’re leaving the kiddos with my parents and going to Wisconsin Dells for a couple of days. And I will be gone on that Sunday. My brother Andrew is in town for the fall, so he will be able to provide some relief, I think, provided that I can get him trained up in all the surrounding tasks. (He can do the music just fine, it’s just the administrative details he will need to learn.) But he probably won’t be around past Christmas. I need to find a longer-term fix than that.

So I’ve gone and spilled my guts on the blog again. Now I need to do something in the real world to make it happen. What do I do to break this cycle? I can’t afford to do this every year. Seriously, folks, if you have suggestions or thoughts, I want to hear them. Thanks.

'Cause we're all praying for the ice to break...

This song has been rattling around in my head for the past day or two. It’s beautiful, intense, personal stuff, made all the moreso by the knowledge that Andy was really writing this about himself.

My struggles haven’t been specifically with anger like is dealt with here, but I still understand the feeling of “waiting for the ice to break” - for that cold stasis of the soul to crack up into rushing, vibrant spring - Rich Mullins’ streams “all swollen with winter, winter unfrozen, free to run away now…” What a beautiful call to repentance, renewal, and refreshing.

You’re floating like some Lost episode
Now you’re there and I want you but how
How can I get there inside your house of mirrors
Are you looking for a window,
Are you looking for a door?

Cause it’s been too long, too long - It’s been like this too long.

There’s Scripture taped up to the wall now
Are you getting any solace
From the promises, the Word?
Cause you’re angry,
And you can call it what you want to,
But the tree grows from the seeds in your ground

And it’s been too long, too long - It’s been like this too long

Cause you’re lonely
And when Matthew said forgiveness
Your heart leapt and your eyes looked away
You get so busy with the hours and the mortgage
You can turn cold and ignore how you’ve changed

Cause we’re all praying for the ice to break
Waiting for our friend to come back to us again

Cause you’re hurting more than anybody
And they’ve got no power over you now…

-- Andrew Osenga, House of Mirrors

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The new monitor's here!

A trusty IT guy came by this morning to deliver a new Dell 19" LCD monitor. He was also good enough to haul away the old 21" CRT behemoth. Amazing how my 19" CRT now looks fuzzy and crappy in comparison.

The one downside is that the resolution of the LCD is only 1280 x 1024, and I’m more used to running 1600 x 1200. But I’ll adjust some font sizes and then get used to it. Well worth it to have the new monitor. And I can see some of my desk again!

Feeling Squeezed

Yesterday I was sitting at my desk working away when suddenly, bzzt! and one of my monitors went dark. I have been using two monitors for the past couple of years; I have two CRTs on my desk; one 21" behemoth and one 19" behemoth’s-younger-brother. My desk panel that they sit on is bowed down in the middle by about an inch because of the weight. I’ve been wishing for LCD monitors for a while (hey, the new folks have them!) but the company’s policy is that we’ll only replace them when they die.

So yesterday my 21" HP monitor died. It had been showing symptons for a month or so now, so I’m not too suprised. I have a new 19" LCD monitor on order; hopefully it’ll get delivered yet this afternoon; if not, definitely tomorrow. Then I can go back to working in wide-screen happiness. As it is right now, I’m limited to 1600 x 1200 resolution, and I’m feeling a bit squeezed.

This is why I wear a belt

The main button on my (nearly-new) khakis just came off. Fortunately, there’s still that little inside button. If I had no belt, I’d be going home to change. As it is, I think I’ll survive until the day is over.