Note from Chris: I’m not usually this bitter… but I’m taking no small pleasure in the fact that this blog is the first Google hit on the search for “OfficeMax Replacement Plan”. Don’t know that my complaints will result in anything, but I’m going to document the arduous process.

Today is the ninth day since I started the process rolling to try to get my dead Palm Tungsten E replaced under the “MaxAssurance” plan I purchased from OfficeMax. Still no pre-paid mailing label. How long can it take to send a mailing label? If this is indicative of the way the whole process will go, I fully expect to be without my PDA for about 6 weeks, which to me is just unacceptable for a “replacement plan”.

A few choice quotes from the OfficeMax website:

Electronics MaxAssurance Extended Warranty

With the Electronics MaxAssurance Plan brought to you by OfficeMax, you can enhance the manufacturer’s warranty on your purchases of electronics.

Electronics MaxAssurance features include:

  • One-year service plan beginning as soon as the manufacturer’s labor warranty expires
  • Coverage on parts and labor
  • Renewable and transferable coverage
  • Power surge protection
  • Replacement program for all products under $400
  • Repair program–products over $400 will be repaired by an authorized service provider
    Protecting your purchase is a worry-free way to enjoy your electronics for just pennies a day.

    Electronics MaxAssurance benefits also include:

  • No deductible–no unexpected future costs
  • Toll-free, 24-hour product helpline–referrals to qualified service providers
  • Normal wear and tear coverage is included
  • “No-Lemon” Policy–if your product requires more than three repairs, it will be replaced

    Best Service With the MaxAssurance Plan, a nationwide network of service providers, as well as dedicated customer service representatives, are at your service. Product experts are ready to provide instant troubleshooting, information and reliable service when you need it most.

The parts that crack me up the most are “No deductible–no unexpected future costs” and “Product experts are ready to provide instant troubleshooting, information and reliable service when you need it most.”

Yeah, if “no unexpected future costs” means “you’ll have to put out at least another $50 to get a replacement” and “product experts” are call-center workers working from a really short script…

Side note: I’ve seen the return process done really well; when I got a bad item from musiciansfriend.com, I called and they asked for my e-mail address; they sent me a link to get a pre-paid UPS label online, and I had it that same evening and shipped the stuff the next day. That’s how it should be done.