Where Are The Christian Daddy Blogs?

I had a passing thought in the midst of a blog post a few weeks ago that I want to explore a little more on its own. While writing about my podcast listening, I wondered this:

As an aside: it’s curious to me that while you’d find this kind of parenting discussion going on in the Christian blogosphere on mom blogs, you have to go to the secular arena to hear the dad’s perspective. What’s up with that?

I was sort of hoping that readers (of which I have at least a few) would chime in to let me know that I was just missing the Christian dad podcasts and blogs, but no. The only thing I heard in that regard was a note from my friend Mike noting that he’d been considering starting up that sort of podcast himself.

I did a little bit of Googling today for Christian dad blogs, and didn’t find too many. I came across one post from six months ago where someone on DaddyBlogger.com made a “definitive guide of Christian Dad Bloggers”, but if you follow the links,(and there are only about 20 listed) the blogs are for the most part either very sports oriented or seem to be basic guy blogs rather than focusing on parenting in any substantive way.

i <3 You

Sure, there are lots of podcasts and blogs out there targeted at men and fathers, but for the most part they’re focused around things like leadership, or legacy, or work/life balance.

Now yeah, it’s important for men to set a good example for their children, and to take responsibility for their spiritual development, and so on. Absolutely.

But why don’t we see blog posts for dads about other aspects of parenting? Is a dad’s realm of activity and advice limited to “make sure the kids develop a correct theology” and “make sure you’re around enough to go to their sports events” and “take your daughters on dates”?

Where are the Christian dad blogs talking about effective bedtime strategies for preschoolers, or how to handle discipline in public situations (or private ones!), or dealing with toddlers who don’t want to eat anything but hot dogs for weeks at a time, or how to not go insane when your four-year-old asks you to read the same My Little Pony book for bedtime for the seven-hundredth day in a row?

Or about encouraging healthy eating and physical activity, and about teaching kids how to enjoy entertainment in appropriate avenues and quantities? About how to make sure your kid doesn’t grow up with his nose glued to an electronic device for 25 hours a day even when your inclination is to jump for the iPhone in your pocket every time it beeps?

How about practical advice for using time-outs and other ways of defusing situations where kids have just lost it and need time to reset attitudes rather than just escalating a battle of wills forever?

OK, I don’t need to go on for another three paragraphs. And I’m sure that somewhere along the way somebody has written a dad-related blog post on most of these subjects. But what I’m asking today is why we don’t see posts focused that way on a more regular basis?

I’ve got three daughters and have been a dad for almost 10 years now, and I can say with assurance that there should be a lot more to being a dad than just family devotions and soccer games. Just because some of the more home-related topics tend to the focus of moms rather than dads doesn’t mean that they always should be.

So, my readers, any thoughts on why this disparity exists? Am I asking a question with such an obvious answer that I’m stupid for asking? Is the disparity simply a product of the fact that moms spend more time with the kids than dads do?

If you read this and know of good Christian dad blogs or podcasts, leave a comment and let me know. I’d love to find out that there are a bunch of them floating around that I just haven’t located.

"I am utterly unworthy to offer any critique of these mysteries"

I love this confession from Catholic blogger Andrew Sullivan today:

If by doctrine, you mean the core tenets of the Creed I recite at Mass by heart… then I do not favor any changes in doctrine. I believe in what I say. Sometimes, of course, it is hard to believe something that is beyond my real understanding. I’ve thought about, meditated on, puzzled over and marveled at the doctrine of the Incarnation, for example – for me, the most radical of all Christianity’s improbable claims. I believe in it until I can’t, at which point, I embrace a mystery – what Pascal called “the use and submission of reason.” But I am utterly unworthy – morally and intellectually – to offer any real critique of these mysteries; and because I feel and know the living presence of Jesus in my own life, because that presence seems to me both human and divine, and because Jesus has rescued me so many times from myself and from the world, I accept what I cannot understand.

Sullivan is such a conundrum to me. British transplant to the States, gay Catholic, politically moderate, fairly serious about his theology, running a prolific blog that is equally delightful and at times infuriating. He went to a reader-supported format on his blog last year, and after a year of continuing to read it via the RSS feed and feeling like a moocher, I ponied up for a subscription this year.

Support the authors and creatives you appreciate, folks. Whether they’re musicians, writers, designers, whatever. There are great folks out there creating great stuff, and our support goes a long way towards keeping them around.

Ben Myers' Canon Fodder

Australian theology professor Ben Myers (@FaithTheology) has been tweeting a fantastic series of 140-character commentaries on each book of the Bible, one tweet per book, delightfully tagged “Canon Fodder”.

While it may initially seem dismissive to describe each book of the Bible as a one-liner, on the contrary Myers’ tweets are insightful, pithy summaries that provoke thought and also draw some smiles.

Some examples:

1 Kings: So, you really want a monarchy huh? Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 2 Kings: I told you so.

Psalms: The invention of antiphony: when my heart broke in two, I taught both parts to sing. Zephaniah: Cry out with horror, for I will sweep you from the earth. Cry out with joy, for I will sweep you into my arms. Acts: Proof of the resurrection: the powers of this world submit to a handkerchief on which an apostle has blown his nose.

And probably my favorite:

Romans: Adam lost it, Christ found it, the Spirit gives it, faith holds it, creation yearns for it, death yields to it.

Go read the whole list.

The Joy of the Gospel

Pope Francis published a new “Apostolic Exhortation” today titled “EVANGELII GAUDIUM”, which translated means “The Joy of the Gospel”. It’s a long read - more a book than a web page, about 50,000 words - and I only got about 10% of the way through it at lunch today. However, there is a ton of good stuff even in that first 10%. A few striking quotes (emphasis mine):

How good it feels to come back to him whenever we are lost! Let me say this once more: God never tires of forgiving us; we are the ones who tire of seeking his mercy. Christ, who told us to forgive one another “seventy times seven” (Mt 18:22) has given us his example: he has forgiven us seventy times seven. Time and time again he bears us on his shoulders. No one can strip us of the dignity bestowed upon us by this boundless and unfailing love. With a tenderness which never disappoints, but is always capable of restoring our joy, he makes it possible for us to lift up our heads and to start anew.

That’s a great reminder. Then there’s this:

There are Christians whose lives seem like Lent without Easter. I realize of course that joy is not expressed the same way at all times in life, especially at moments of great difficulty. Joy adapts and changes, but it always endures, even as a flicker of light born of our personal certainty that, when everything is said and done, we are infinitely loved.

“When everything is said and done, we are infinitely loved.” I need that reminder. Regularly.

In every activity of evangelization, the primacy always belongs to God, who has called us to cooperate with him and who leads us on by by the power of his Spirit… The life of the Church should always reveal clearly that God takes the initiative, that “he has loved us first” (1 Jn 4:19) and that he alone “gives the growth” (1 Cor 3:7). This conviction enables us to maintain a spirit of joy in the midst of a task so demanding and challenging that it engages our entire life. God asks everything of us, yet at the same time he offers everything to us.

God takes the initiative, God gives the growth, God asks everything of us and at the same time offers everything to us. Wow.

And one last one:

God’s word is unpredictable in its power. The Gospel speaks of a seed which, once sown, grows by itself, even as the farmer sleeps (Mk 4:26-29). The Church has to accept this unruly freedom of the word, which accomplishes what it wills in ways that surpass our calculations and ways of thinking.

It’s gonna take me a while to get through the whole thing, but I’d say it’s definitely worth a read.

Jim Belcher, "In Search of Deep Faith"

I first became acquainted with author Jim Belcher back in 2009 when I read Deep Church. It appears I didn’t review it here on the blog, but my Goodreads review gave it four stars: solid but not revolutionary. Now Belcher is back, with In Search of Deep Faith.

I feel like I’ve seen bits and pieces of this book already, having followed Belcher on Twitter for the past few years. In Search of Deep Faith reads like a travel journal crossed with Foxe’s Book of Martyrs, as Belcher recounts his family’s adventures through several months of “pilgrimage” in Europe. Belcher, his wife and four pre-teen children spent several months in Oxford, England, where he was a visiting scholar at the university there. They then spent time exploring European sites that were notable because of the saints who had lived there.

Belcher’s chapters bounce back and forth as he shares his family’s adventures in finding and exploring the locations - from Corrie Ten Boom’s house in Holland, to C. S. Lewis’ home in Oxford, to a fruitless search for the location of Bonhoeffer’s hidden seminary - and then interspersing the stories of these saints, with an emphasis on how their deep faith led them to be devoted even during times of crisis and under threat of death.

Belcher’s concern in this memoir seems not primarily for his own spiritual health, but for that of his young children. He reminds us (several times) of studies telling us that children with shallow faith roots will abandon their faith in adulthood. How, Belcher wonders, can he inspire the faith and spiritual understanding that will allow his children to remain firm in their faith throughout their lives?

In Search of Deep Faith is an entertaining read. Most readers will find at least one of the historical faith stories to be new to them - the full story of Archbishop Thomas Cranmer was particularly interesting to me - and Belcher drives the reader to reflection on the health of one’s own faith.

[caption width=“640” align=“aligncenter”] Cranmer burned at the stake[/caption]

My one big gripe with the book is Belcher’s style of driving his argument via what I’m assuming must be invented dialogue. Sure, some of the conversations on his trip probably happened as they are written, but even though page after page of his book is filled with quoted dialog ("‘why do you think he did that?’, my wife asked."), either he provided a script for his family to read their questions from, or he’s putting words in their mouths later as a device to move his arguments along. And while literature has been using the forced question-and-answer format at least since Plato did it in The Republic, after too many chapters of it from Belcher it just feels contrived.

In spite of that gripe I’d still recommend reading this one if you think you’re at all interested. Style aside, it’s an encouraging and educational read.

Disclosure: InterVarsity Press provided me a free ebook copy of In Search of Deep Faith in return for posting a review here and at Amazon.com. The contents of the review are mine alone.

The command to love my neighbour as myself still retains its claim upon me

I don’t always find myself warmed by the writings of Charles Spurgeon, but my friend Michael Terry sent me this bit yesterday, to which I can only give a hearty Amen!

We have seen such a one limping about with a long doctrinal leg, but a very short emotional leg. It is a horrible thing for a man to be so doctrinal that he can speak coolly of the doom of the wicked, so that, if he does not actually praise God for it, it costs him no anguish of heart to think of the ruin of millions of our race. This is horrible!

I hate to hear the terrors of the Lord proclaimed by men whose hard visages, harsh tones, and unfeeling spirit betray a sort of doctrinal desiccation: all the milk of human kindness is dried out of them. Having no feeling himself, such a preacher creates none, and the people sit and listen while he keeps to dry, lifeless statements, until they come to value him for being “sound”, and they themselves come to be sound, too; and I need not add, sound asleep also, or what life they have is spent in sniffing out heresy, and making earnest men offenders for a word. Into this spirit may we never be baptized!

Whatever I believe, or do not believe, the command to love my neighbour as myself still retains its claim upon me, and God forbid that any views or opinions should so contract my soul, and harden my heart as to make me forget this law of love! The love of God is first, but this by no means lessens the obligation of love to man; in fact, the first command includes the second. We are to seek our neighbour’s conversion because we love him, and we are to speak to him in loving terms God’s loving gospel, because our heart desires his eternal good.

This comes from Spurgeon’s book The Soul Winner. I love both the spirit and the sense of humor displayed here. Good stuff.

The proper evangelical attitude toward sinful behavior outside the church

Here’s one for ya this morning:

The proper evangelical attitude toward sinful behavior outside the church should be one of wise resignation and acceptance. There’s no gospel call to change the world into the church by law. In fact, it cannot be done.

Roger Olson, from How to be Evangelical Without Being Conservative.

I find this thought compelling. It seems so backwards to the evangelical ear, and definitely runs afoul of Dominion Theology, but I think Olson is right.

A Calvinist at the Pearly Gates

Trevin Wax today reviews Michael Bird’s new book Evangelical Theology. Outside of the book and review, this humorous aside from Bird’s book inspired a chortle, which is why I pass it along. Enjoy!

A Calvinist arrives at St. Peter’s gates and sees that there are two queues going in. One is marked “predestined,” and the other is marked “free will.” Being the card-carrying Calvinist that he is, he strolls on over to the predestined queue. After several moments an angel asks him, “Why are you in this line?” He replies, “Because I chose it.” The angel looks surprised, “Well, if you ‘chose’ it, then you should be in the free will line.” So our Calvinist, now slightly miffed, obediently wanders over to the free will line. Again, after a few minutes, another angel asks him, “Why are you in this line?” He sullenly replies, “Someone made me come here.”

A few thoughts on the "yuck factor" discussion

In case you’re not already caught up: the discussion started with Thabiti Anyabwile’s post on TGC, “The Importance of Your Gag Reflex When Discussing Homosexuality and “Gay Marriage””. One-line summary: “Return the [gay marriage] discussion to sexual behavior in all its yuckiest gag-inducing truth.”

Then yesterday Richard Beck posted a response: On Love and the Yuck Factor. Two-line summary: (1) “I don’t think it’s healthy to use disgust to regulate moral behavior.” (2) “When disgust is involved any purported distinction being made between persons and behavior is… a verbal obfuscation of the underlying psychology.”

There have been a bunch of other thoughtful responses (to both men), including a long comment on Beck’s piece from “dmr5090” (sheesh, people, can’t you use real names at least?). Key points in those rebuttals to Beck have often been along the lines of (1) Shouldn’t sin gross us out?, (2) “Aren’t you just trying to argue that ‘homosexuality isn’t a sin’ without admitting it?” and (3) “The words ‘gag reflex’ and ‘yuck factor’ aren’t Anyabwile’s - he’s just quoting a gay journalist.”

To be fair, I have grossly simplified, hopefully not unfairly, all the posts I’ve linked so far. If you want to dig into this argument, go read them all.

So here’s the thing: I know there’s a battle raging among various flavors of Protestants and even evangelicals over homosexuality. But I can believe on one hand that homosexual acts are sinful, and on the other hand still respond with revulsion to Anyabwile’s post. Here’s why:

1. Inconsistent application of the tactic. Why do we not hear preachers like Anyabwile use this “gag reflex” topic when addressing other, more “acceptable” sins? Let’s hear a few sermons on gluttony that try to gross me out with discussions of sweaty mounds of obese flesh before you try to claim that the “gross out” strategy is really one you think should be used across the board.

2. The encouragement to revulsion at the act quickly leads to revulsion of the person. Yes, sin is revolting. All sin should be revolting to us. But to encourage a “gag reflex” response to homosexuality will very quickly lead a person to have that “gag reflex” toward the homosexual person. And that’s the furthest thing from what Christ calls us to. I know that Anyabwile says in his post that we “should not be mean and bigoted”. But I don’t understand how you can encourage a gag reflex when you hear “homosexual” and not end up that way. (Beck made this point in his post far better than I’m saying it here.)

(Observation: while writing this I was about to say that Anyabwile said we should still love the sinners, but he never actually says that in his piece. All he says is that we should not be mean and bigoted, and that we should ‘speak the truth in love’. And the truth, he says, is that homosexual relationships cannot properly be called ’love’. Not sure it’s fair to draw a conclusion from that, but it’s bothersome.)

3. This is the old “culture warrior” position again. Have we not learned yet that sin is not going to be defeated by us making the right arguments to those in privileged positions in the halls of power? Anyabwile seems to think that if he’d just managed to gross out the right people in powerful positions, we wouldn’t have legalized gay marriage. I say that’s baloney. We’ve had the evangelical attempts at political power for at least 30 years. Buchanan, Falwell, Dobson… How’s that worked out for us?

4. The Gospel is not “sin is icky”. The Gospel message is that we are all sinful, all equally in need of Christ’s grace and forgiveness. That God is in the process of making all things new, of drawing people to himself. That’s the message we need to be spending our time on.

Does your church have room for me?

What if I don’t have 100% agreement with your doctrinal statement, but still want to be a part of your church?

Does your church have room for me?

What if I’m perfectly willing to accept that you’re not going to change your church’s views just because I disagree?

Does your church have room for me?


What if I don’t know that I want to be at your church for the rest of my life, but that it’s just the right place for right now?

Does your church have room for me?

What if I want to blog about the things I’m wrestling with theologically, even if I’m using things I hear in the sermons as discussion points?

What if I’m not willing to accept the stock answer to the tough question?

What if I think disagreement doesn’t automatically mean disunity?

Does your church have room for me?


What if I’d like to publicly acknowledge that I don’t always (or even usually) vote Republican?

What if I’d like to publicly support things like single-payer healthcare?

What if I want to say publicly that we shouldn’t be demonizing the cause of illegal immigrants?

Does your church have room for me?

On the other hand,

What if I think that the Bible teaches that homosexual behavior is a sin?

What if I believe that God really knows the end from the beginning?

Does your church have room for me?

What if I believe that there is real faith to be found in churches that are very unlike yours? Among trendy Evangelicals, mainline Protestants, wild Pentecostals, and old-school Catholics?

Does your church have room for me?


What if, after all this, I’d like to use my leadership gifts? What if I’m willing to not push for my own position in the 5% where I disagree, but not willing to deny the disagreement?

What if I can teach for years on topics where we are all in blessed agreement, but occasionally will write a personal blog that none of the other leaders will agree with?

Does your church leadership have room for me?

What if all I want is to have a place where I can fellowship, love, and serve, while at the same time being honest about my views and how they are changing over time?

Does your church have room for me?