On parenthood and life

Tech blogger Jeff Atwood took a detour from his usual nerd programming yesterday to address a nearly universal topic: parenthood. He expresses something about the joys of parenting in a way I completely understood and couldn’t have said half as well:

When I am holding Henry and I tickle him, I can feel him laughing all the way to his toes. And I realize, my God, I had forgotten, I had completely forgotten how unbelievably, inexplicably wonderful it is that any of us exist at all. Here I am with this tiny, warm body so close to me, breathing so fast he can barely catch up, sharing his newfound joy of simply being alive with me. The sublime joy of this moment, and all the other milestones – the first smile, the first laugh, the first “dada” or “mama”, the first kiss, the first time you hold hands. The highs are so incredibly high that you’ll get vertigo and wonder if you can ever reach that feeling again. But you peak ever higher and higher, with dizzying regularity. Being a new parent is both terrifying and exhilarating, a constant rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows.

Jeff’s oldest is only 2 1/2, so I won’t spoil it for him, but it doesn’t stop at age 4. The delight of parenting and seeing your kids learn those new things and experience life in new ways is still a joy when they’re 5 or 6 or 7. Even through the lows it is an amazing experience.

Yesterday afternoon we sat down on the couch with the girls to tell them that their Pops had passed away. Laura, at 7, immediately broke into sobs and cried for a good 5 minutes. And then she was OK. No more words. I wonder how she’s internalizing it, and if we’ll end up talking more about it later. She’s so much like me, it’s scary. But little Addie, only 5, didn’t have tears. She started to think about the news, and to talk through it. “So,” she said, “mom’s dad passed away.” Pause. “I’m glad I still have a dad and mom. I’d be sad if my dad passed away.” Then we talked about how Pops is so much happier and healthier now that he’s in heaven with Jesus, and about how we will see him again someday.

After that we spent a beautiful fall night in the backyard with burgers on the grill, cold beer (for me, not them), a fire in the firepit, marshmallows roasted, and friends who came by with ice cream. Then it was inside for pajamas, hugs and kisses, prayers, books, and bed. And quickly they slept, fresh to wake again as I was leaving for work this morning at some ungodly hour.

Some day future, God willing, my daughters and their families will sit out under the sky and raise a glass in memory of me. My prayer is that, when that time comes, they will be just as thankful and blessed as I was last night. God’s goodness continues from generation to generation.

Robert Esher Hubbs III, 1939 - 2011

My wife’s father [Yes, that’s right - Becky’s maiden name was Hubbs, my last name is Hubbs. It’s unusual, and we’ve heard all of the jokes.] (“Bob” to his friends, “Pops” to his grandkids and his kids-in-law who couldn’t quite come to call him “Dad”) passed away this morning after a short illness. I’m sure I’ll learn much more about him through the stories of family and friends over the next few weeks, but I wanted to get a few thoughts and memories down now while things are fresh.

Pops was a man of quiet faithfulness. After serving in the US Marine Corps he followed God’s call to go to the mission field, taking his family through language camp in south Texas (resulting, among other things, in his youngest daughter having her father’s name listed as “Roberto” on her birth certificate) and then to the jungles of Indonesia. When health issues forced them to come back to the States, he and his wife served with JAARS for another 20+ years at the US headquarters location in Waxhaw, NC. He worked in the Construction and Maintenance department as a buyer, and he well knew his projects and materials. He was a fixture as an usher in his section of the Calvary Church balcony, and was a regular participant in a multitude of bowling groups, Bible Studies and prayer meetings.

Pops was a meticulous, detail-oriented man. When there was a job to be done, there was a correct tool to be used for it. Better to take more time and do it right than go for half-measures. He perpetually carried a notebook to record daily expenses. He always wanted to make sure he took care of any costs he incurred, sometimes to a hilarious extent. (Just last week we deposited a check that he sent to replace a lawn chair after one of ours tore slightly when he sat in it during his last visit here.) He was an extraordinarily generous and giving man; a trait which was passed down to all of his children in delightful ways.

I first met Pops in 1995 as an incoming freshman at LeTourneau University. At the time it was mostly a novelty, since I’d never met another Hubbs that wasn’t a relative of mine. (I took care of that 3 years later when I married his youngest daughter. Now I still haven’t ever met a Hubbs that I wasn’t somehow related to.) During the past 13 years as his son-in-law I got to know him better, and was regularly challenged by his patience, his faithfulness in service, and his disciplined consistency in the Word. (You could find him every morning up early reading his Bible and praying. Every. Single. Morning.)

Pops’ greatest gift to me, though, was the 20 years that he invested in his youngest daughter before she became my wife. Becky’s detail-oriented brain, her love for God, her consistent, faithful service, her enjoyment of travel and adventure, and her love of softball were all inculcated by her loving father in a way that all daughters deserve and very few actually receive. Our three daughters and I are all the richer thanks to his faithfulness.

Pops will be greatly missed, but we do not despair as those who have no hope. We look forward to the day when we will again laugh, run, bowl, and play softball with him in the resurrection. Well done, good and faithful servant.

Trying Someplace New

Went to The Flying Wienie for lunch today; my first time ever at this local Cedar Rapids institution. It was amazingly tasty. It won’t be another 12 years before I go back.

A long-delayed update

So, that blogging every day thing didn’t last long, did it? A little bit of work craziness and life busyness and all of a sudden it’s been six weeks. So what’s been going on? Since I last posted, I:

So yeah. I’m still struggling with how to best pull together the content that I share every day via Google Reader, Google+, and Twitter. I’d like to be able to centralize it here… but I haven’t managed to work that into my process yet. I’ll keep trying.

Off the wagon

So I had a Lipton diet green tea yesterday. The whole bottle had 30 mg of caffeine. From what I can tell, that’s less than half as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. Still, drinking that bottle of tea made me jittery for a couple of hours. Couldn’t stop bouncing my legs. Craziness. I am now more motivated than ever to mostly stay away from the stuff.

On the other hand, I did my second 10-mile run yesterday and completed it with sub-10-mile pace and without feeling like I was going to die. I figure I need to do at least one more of those prior to the New Bo Fest Half Marathon on September 4. Looking forward to that race… and to getting it done with.

Decaffeinating

Today marks the beginning of my second week without caffeine.

I started out the month of August with a few rather stringent goals: drink nothing but water, stay away from sugar, and eat moderately. I was hoping that the combination of those goals and the running I need to do to prepare for the half marathon coming up in September would help me shed some pounds that have been stubbornly sticking around.

The nothing-but-water rule was really a push back against all of the Diet Pepsi I’d been drinking over the past couple of weeks. (All-day work meetings with food provided become avenues to just mainline the stuff.) But after a few days I decided I really needed the option to drink something other than just water, so I’m allowing myself an occasional Crystal Light or a decaf iced tea.

The no sugar thing has been a harder sell. I did really well for the first four days, but over the weekend there were a couple of desserts that were impossible to pass up. I at least tried to keep them small and made sure that they didn’t push me way over my calorie count for those days.

I haven’t stepped back on the scale this week, so I’m not sure if that first week helped me with the weight any - might take a week or two more to see that happen. But I’m interested in how my body is responding to the lack of caffeine. Or not responding, as the case may be. I had one withdrawal headache on the second day. Other than that, I’ve been feeling pretty much the same as ever. I have been finding that I need a bit more sleep, but I’m not sure if that’s due to lack of caffeine or due to the fact that I’ve been running a lot and tiring myself out that way.

So, the half marathon is 4 weeks from yesterday, so I have some more time to see how it turns out… and to get some miles in. I want to get at least a couple more 10 mile runs in before then, and need to supplement those with a lot of 5- and 6- mile runs. Good to have a goal, but it will also be good to get past it and back off to something a little more normal and sustainable come September.

Hard, true words from @tallskinnykiwi

Andrew Jones (aka “Tall Skinny Kiwi”), “itinerant social entrepreneur”, wandering missionary and prolific blogger, has a hard but true, and dare I say, prophetic post on his blog today. It’s unfortunate that the piece is headlined as an appeal to be chosen to speak on The Nines, because the bulk of the post is about the changes coming for the church and for Christian culture.

Did I mention it was a hard word? Here are just a few of his headline points:

  • Church as we have known it is not the first option for the next generation. Neither is it an affordable option. It is not sustainable in the long term.
  • Seminaries are in trouble.
  • The Christian music industry as we have supported it, is over.
  • The Christian publishing industry, as we have enjoyed it over our lifetime, is over.
  • The church planting movement, in its ecclesiocentic and unholistic form, has played out its song and is now doing an unrequested encore.
  • Prayer meetings are focused on making our outdated methods work better.

“If Americans want to play in the sandbox in global missions and sustainable holistic church ministry”, says Jones, “then they need to listen to what the majority world is already discovering and implementing.” He says that we can and should use this time of recession to re-orient and re-calibrate our thoughts on ministry and mission rather than just asking for more money.

You should go read the piece to hear his whole argument. Hard as it may be, I think Jones is right.

So I'm gonna do this...

Finally biting the bullet and sending in this registration. 7 more weeks to prepare!

The desire of every blogger

Thanks to Mo Willems:

Learning to run

Running isn’t exactly a new topic on this blog. I first decided to lace up my shoes back in August of 2006 and ran my first 5k in September of that year. After the initial 5k I never trained much for the races. I’ve run the local Hog Wild Days 5k every year since then, but even then never trained much or cranked up the pace much. My race times evidenced that fact: I ran that first 5k in 31 minutes and change, and 4 years later I was still running right about 30 minutes for a 5k.

At some point this spring, though, some switch flipped in my head, and running became enjoyable and something of a compulsion. I started tracking my runs using runkeeper.com and being more regular with my running. I got in more than 50 miles in April, 47 in May, slacked in June whilst on vacation, and now I’m back at it in July.

My times are showing the improvement. I felt pretty darn sluggish for the Hog Wild Days 5k this year and still completed it in 27 minutes. Then I ran the Alliant Energy 8k on July 4th and completed that in right at 45 minutes.

At the moment I haven’t made a real decision on whether to work for distance or speed next, but I’m leaning towards distance. I ran a 6-mile route this morning and really enjoyed it. I’ve been tossing around the idea of running the New Bo Half Marathon over Labor Day weekend, but haven’t been brave enough to send in the registration form yet. Either way, it’s time for a new pair of shoes between now and then.

I’m still working on understanding why I enjoy running as much as I do. Partly it’s the personal challenge, proving to myself that I can stretch my body beyond where it’s gone before. Partly it’s also so nice to have my body feeling perpetually tired and sore rather than slow and sluggish. It’s also nice when the running helps take off a few pounds.

I doubt I’ll keep with the running long-term as seriously as I have this year, but it’s something I want to keep as a regular part of my life. 30 years from now I’d love to be one of those old guys I saw in the race on Monday, still chugging along and running 5 miles faster than a lot of the young guys.