In a previous post, I wrestled with the ideas of being 10 years removed from my teens, but still feeling many of the same feelings that I did back in those years. It’s been interesting to see the reaction from my siblings. It caused Ryan to reflect on his life, which is good… wait, not that he needs to do more reflecting… it was just interesting to hear his thoughts. 🙂 I think Rebecca‘s comment was just that my post scared her. I take that to mean that she was hoping that things would get better as you get older…
Now that I’ve had a while to chew on it, let me give my siblings (and anybody else who is still reading this) some more thoughts that might encourage you a bit.
Things have changed. I would be very stupid not to recognize that a lot of changes in my life have brought stability and peace over the past dozen years. Relationship worries have been removed by my marriage and the wonderful relational stability it brings. Monetary worries have largely been alleviated by a good job, which meets my needs and then some. Not that financial worries are never there, but they aren’t the how-the-heck-am-I-going-to-pay-for-this-month’s-rent type of worries. What-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life worries have been largely alleviated as I find peace and confidence in God’s plan for me here in Iowa, with my family, my job, and my church. So take heart, brothers, sister, the process can be agonizing (and still is for me, at times), but there will be a day, sooner than you think, where you will stop and look back on things much like I just have.
At the end of that previous post I wrote in conclusion:
It means something that the desires of a dozen years ago are still wandering around in me today. There’s something to be learned from the knowledge that home, wife, and child haven’t fully satisfied them. I know some of the answers, but for today I think I’d rather just sit back and ponder the questions.
Let me talk about some of the answers. Well, at least the one big answer. The answer is that the longings built into each of us cannot be totally fulfilled in this life. Many of them can, and growing closer to God daily will help bring that about. But some cannot, will not ever be fulfilled in this life. But that is the constant reminder for us to look forward to that hope that we have of all eternity with Christ.
As Andrew Peterson reminded us with his last album, we tend to think at times of heaven as this far away country where we will go someday, but that’s not the way it is; rather, God and heaven is home, and we are now in the far country.